By Jennifer Kreatsoulas, PhD, C-IAYT, Founder
I vividly remember 4 years ago, my then 8-year-old daughter excitedly placing her favorite headband with the giant pink bow on her head as she finished getting ready for a birthday party. Before leaving the house, she looked in the mirror quite pleased with her reflection. She smiled at herself and joyfully listed off all the friends she would see and excitedly wondered what kind cake she would be eating.
My daughter’s moment in the mirror was such a gift to observe. As a mother of two girls, I often hold my breath, anxious for the moment when they look in the mirror and express dissatisfaction. This was not that moment. In fact, it was quite the opposite and “mirrored” for me what took decades to learn in my relationship with the mirror.
For many years, including those of early recovery from an eating disorder, my reflection was a source of complete angst. Standing before a mirror or catching a glimpse of my body in a storefront window could instantly send me into a mental tailspin as I meticulously inspected myself from every angle.
Believe it or not, taking a yoga class in a room with a mirror the size of an entire wall was what moved me to interact with my reflection in a new and surprisingly healing way. I share the details of this particular experience in Chapter 12 of my book, The Courageous Path to Healing, which I hope you will check out to get the full story. It was from that yoga class with the dreaded mirror that I learned how scrutinizing my body left me feeling fragmented and alone. When I broadened my gaze and looked at all the mirror showed me (not just myself), I saw how I was in sync with an entire room of people around me. Once I looked past myself in the mirror, it showed me community, the gift of shared experience. The mirror reflected belonging versus self-alienation. Seeing myself through the lens of wholeness created a reflection founded on connection.
From this experience, I started to ask myself everyday: How would giving yourself permission to see yourself as part of the whole rather than a collection of imperfect parts change your relationship with your body?
If this is a question you are ready to start asking yourself or to continue the work you have already done in this area, I invite you to follow along with the practice below from my book to learn to look at yourself through the lens of wholeness.
Practice: Open Your Eyes to the Truth of Your Belonging
This practice involves looking at your image to broaden your gaze. Look in a mirror in a room or environment that means something to you. Alternatively, you can look at a photo of yourself, whether it’s a picture on your phone or a photograph from an album.
1. Take a few breaths. Look beyond yourself and study the mirror (or picture) for all it is showing you.
2. Identify objects that connect you to a positive feeling or memory of people and places. Notice colors, light, patterns, textures, and shapes.
3. Meet your eyes in the reflection (or in the picture) and take a few gentle breaths. See that you belong, that you are not separate from the rest of life around you.
4. Look at yourself through the lens of connecting with the space, objects, and people around you. What do you notice?
5. Trust that you belong just as you are.
If you struggle with body image, I invite you to check out a few opportunities that may feel comforting and supportive.
Join us in May for a 6-week virtual gentle and restorative yoga class series emphasizing the power of slowing down and doing less. Through gentle breathwork, movement, and meditation, you’ll learn to observe your busy mind and body with curiosity and compassion rather than judgement or competition.
Consider incorporating Yoga Therapy into your recovery journey, where we can work together on body image and other themes that are important to you.
Head over to the Yoga for Eating Disorders Community Facebook Group for more support and conversation on body image with others who truly get it!
Be gentle with yourself as you continue you on your body image and recovery journey. And remember, you belong just as you are. 💗
