Eventually, I paid heed to my parents’ and doctor’s concerns. I entered an eating disorder treatment center at the end of 2013. Per program requirements, I completed invasive and uncomfortable therapy sessions, kept a supervised food journal, and complied with strict rules.
Just like in the health class movie, I saw white women left and right when I was in treatment. I did not see myself among the patients or staff. Furthermore, some of the concepts I learned at the treatment center contradicted many of the cultural scripts I grew up with. For example, taking up little space and being of constant service to others are not sustainable ways of living. Each of us deserves to prioritize our self-care and wellness. Nonetheless, I am grateful I completed the program and recognize it as a privilege few people from my community can access.
The woman I am today resulted from intentional learning and unlearning. I had to revisit younger parts of myself that were confused, fearful, and wounded.
I am not the only sexual abuse survivor in my family or the only one with an eating disorder. Yet, I spent years feeling alone in my suffering when I was one of many due to a cultural expectation that “la ropa sucia se lava en casa” (“don’t air your dirty laundry in public”).
Through my work today as a trauma-informed life coach and keynote speaker, I encourage other Latinx people to actively use their voices to advocate for mental health care, defend loved ones from abuse, define boundaries with others, or take similarly empowering action.
