The Morales family cherishes time together in any form they can.
Puzzles aren’t usually Alyssa’s thing, but ever since she was diagnosed with an eating disorder 14 years ago, time with family means everything.
What You Need To Know
According to the State Department of Health, an estimated 5-10 million women and girls, and 1 million men and boys in the U.S. suffer from eating disorders
Many patients are sent out of state to receive residential treatment during their recovery
Upstate New York is seeking its final third of funding to open its first residential eating disorder treatment facility by the summer of 2024
“I struggled for a really long time. I would say from like the age of 12 to 23,” Morales explained, adding that, at times, the illness took over her brain and left a strain on her relationship with everyone.
Alyssa’s mother, Michelle Morales, along with the rest of the family, has been right by her side every step of the way.
“One of the gifts of the illness is that you do learn better connection and communication,” she said.
She is a Parent Peer Mentor for the Western New York Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders. However, Morales says had to learn a lot to get her daughter what she says she really needed: extensive residential care.
“The farthest I had to go was Ohio. It was not fun, to say the least,” Alyssa explained. “When you’re recovering from something that is life or death, it’s so hard to be away from the people that love you most.”
Year after year, she was sent out of state and away from her care team, including her family, for treatment.
“They feel like they’re being sent away to treatment, which is very demeaning for the individual,” her mother explained. “No, you’re not being sent away. You’re getting the care you need, and you require, and you should have.”
However, time away from family is time the Mazur parents know all too well as time you can’t get back.
“Emilee was our first born and she was so much fun, so cute, so smart to talk to her,” Linda Mazur said.
Their daughter, Emilie, was a pharmacist, a violist, an athlete, and a poet.
“This book is called Emilee,” Jack Mazur, Emilee’s dad, said. “It’s a story of a girl and her family, hijacked by anorexia.”
After their daughter passed away back in 2016, the Mazur’s found some of Emilee’s old literature. They wrote a memoir of their family’s experience with eating disorders in honor of their daughter and included many of their child’s former work.
“This is from her fourth grade poetry booklet that we found, and it says, ‘Will tomorrow be the same? What if you weren’t there anymore? What if I couldn’t talk to you?’,” her father shared.
The parents describe her poetry as well beyond her years, and words they can unfortunately understand very clearly.
“I know that she tried her very best and so did we. But it just took such a hold on her, of her life, that, she couldn’t, she couldn’t do it. And it was, there’s nothing more tragic than watching your child suffer,” Linda explained.
“She had to go away and get treatment because there was nothing else available here that she hadn’t tried. So she went to Utah,” Jack added.
The Mazur’s are another Rochester-based family that had a loved one far from home for their recovery.
“She said, ‘I wish there was someplace, you know, closer to home’,” Jack said.
Alyssa Morales agrees that her recovery would have been much easier with a facility closer to home.
According to the State Department of Health, an estimated 5 to 10 million women and girls, and 1 million men and boys in the United States suffer from eating disorders. Residential facilities for people struggling with an eating disorder are only available out-of-state, or if a patient is lucky, a center down state may have a room available. However, the demand is high and both options take a patient away from the environment they know best. That’s why the Morales and Mazur families are excited about the first Upstate New York Adolescent Eating Disorder Treatment Facility. It’s a home in the Rochester area that is seeking its final third of funding to fully open by the summer of 2024.
Alyssa says she’s still recovering every day.
“It’s simple, but like it’s so nice to have an uninterrupted stream of time and presence and connect with [family] them. Like, I’m not going off to treatment,” she says the emotions of recovery can be a rollercoaster. “That house is going to be filled with everything. I mean, it’s going to be filled with fear, frustration, sadness, like, all of that. But it will be filled with hope, and with joy, and with love, and with all the things that a person needs to recovery.”
Alyssa recalls doing lots of therapy and group activities while she was away recovering as a child, which is something that the new facility in Rochester will be able to provide. Although she’s not a fan of puzzles, she laughed with her mother, “Even if it’s a puzzle… I will do this ten times if it means not having to go out of state for residential. Give me all the puzzles.”
One of the Mazur parents’ favorite poems written by their daughter Emilee is called ‘Puzzles.’
“As a child, I love puzzles,” Linda read, “the pieces always fit together perfectly, no matter how small the pieces, or challenging the puzzle. There was always a solution.”
Both families agree, this facility is considered one solution to their puzzle.
The book, “Emilee – The Story of a Girl and Her Family Hijacked by Anorexia,” can be found on Amazon. Anyone interested in donating to the Upstate Adolescent Eating Disorder Treatment Facility can go to thehealingconnectioninc.org/residential-program.
