Diet culture is such a trap. Our society’s general obsession with weight can make it feel like everyone is preoccupied with “working off” their meals and feeling guilty for eating anything that isn’t green. Even though these kinds of thoughts and behaviors may seem harmless simply because they affect so many people, they’re not.
“[We] are often surrounded by people who are dieting and talking about food,” Linda Hamilton, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders, tells SELF. “It’s a big part of our society.” And that relentless focus on food and bodies can seep into your own psyche, leading to unhealthy fixations.
It’s basically impossible not to internalize some of this food-related messaging, so it’s not necessarily alarming if you can relate to the following thoughts or behaviors. But if you find that most of this list applies to you, or if you’re preoccupied with some of these things so often that it’s interfering with your daily life, it may be time to bring this up to someone you trust. That might be a friend, a family member, your primary care doctor, or a therapist. Seeking out professional help might seem really inconvenient, intimidating, and maybe even unnecessary—but it can also help you reframe how you view food, and ultimately, yourself. Here are some signs that you could benefit from talking to a therapist about your relationship with food.
1. You’re constantly thinking about food and/or your weight.
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focused on health and wellness, says she often hears from patients who say they’re basically always thinking about what they’re currently eating, their next meal, or their weight. “That can really interfere with someone’s daily functioning,” Goldman tells SELF.
It’s obviously natural to think about food and your appearance at certain times. But if these thoughts become so loud they drown out most other concerns—and if they’re tied up in guilt, anxiety, or shame—seeing a therapist can be a good idea.
“If this is consuming your life and thoughts to the point of really bothering you, that’s when it’s time to seek help,” Goldman says.
2. You’re worried about eating in front of other people.
“If someone is trying to lose weight, has body image issues, or [has] any kind of disordered thoughts around eating and weight, they may be more hesitant to eat in front of other people,” Goldman says.
She adds that shame about eating in front of others commonly occurs with people who have anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. “People with [these disorders] don’t want to eat in public because they don’t want to be criticized,” she says.
You don’t need to have a diagnosable eating disorder in order for this to be a problem. It’s possible to have disordered eating that doesn’t meet the diagnostic criteria for any one eating disorder but still interferes with your life. If you’re so concerned about eating in front of other people that you’re avoiding plans having to do with meals or parties where there’s going to be food around, Goldman says that’s something you may want to discuss with a therapist. Even if you are able to have meals with others, if doing so causes you stress or anxiety, that’s still worth addressing.
3. You’re fixated on only eating “healthy” foods.
Eating in a way that fuels your body and mind is important, but there is actually a point at which this can become unhealthy.
