In this op-ed, eating disordersurvivor Ellen Ricks talks about her experience while watching the Netflix show Insatiable.
Having lived with an eating disorder for most of my life, it’s safe to say that I was a tad wary about one of Netflix’s newest shows, Insatiable, about a former “fat” girl, Patty, getting revenge on her enemies, via beauty pageants and occasional murder. Many have called the show fatphobic after seeing thin actress Debby Ryan wearing a fat suit in the trailer. There was even a petition to have Netflix cancel the show before its premiere, with more than 230,000 signatures. But the petition didn’t take: On August 10, Netflix released all 12, 46-minute episodes.
In response to the criticism, Netflix’s original series vice-president Cindy Holland said the message of the show was misinterpreted, according to ABC News. Series creator Lauren Gussis released a statement on Twitter, titled “This is my truth,” and opened up about her traumatic experiences with an eating disorder, bullying, and suicidal ideation. The show, she wrote, “is a cautionary tale about how damaging it can be to believe the outsides are more important.” She asked viewers to give the show a chance, and despite the fact that a show like this could be very triggering for people like me, it could also open conversations about body image. So, I did.
The message I got from watching the show is that skinny equals strong, which is the mindset for many anorexics — I know it was mine for many years. I used to believe wholeheartedly that I was stronger and better than others because I could deny myself food; I wasn’t stronger for starving my body, I was weakening it. Even knowing that, watching Patty lose weight with extreme dieting and liquid fasts was seductive. I kept thinking, “I could do this — she’s fine,” as Patty was doing something self-destructive. As I watched, I slipped back into my dangerous thoughts and unhealthy habits.
Like Patty, I’ve never had a healthy relationship with my body. A serial dieter, I’ve been that child at the Weight Watchers meeting. I’ve collapsed from self-starvation multiple times. For a moment, I thought I had found a kindred spirit in Patty, who also knew what it felt like to be insatiable.
But when she got punched in the face and had her jaw wired shut, the show took a turn from being about body and food issues to being irresponsible about the complexity of eating disorders and extreme weight loss. What they were hoping to position as dark comedy, felt only dark.
Binge eating disorder (BED), is the most common type of eating disorder, yet it can go undiagnosed for a number of reasons, including societal stigma against the “sin” of overeating, and feeling guilty about a percieved lack of self-control, neither of which are the fault of a person who develops BED. Dr. Allison Chase, regional managing clinical director of the Eating Recovery Center in Austin, Texas, says that binge eating disorder is “defined by the repeated occurrence of binge eating episodes, the act of uncontrollably eating large amounts of food. The binge eating episodes are also characterized by rapid eating when not hungry, eating alone because of embarrassment and feelings of disgust or guilt. Binge eating – eating a large amount of food in a time period that is larger than what most would eat in the same time period – occurs, on average, at least once a week for three months.”
