By Minh-Hai Alex, MS, RDN, CD, RYT, Guest Contributor
I’ve been talking to lots of clients lately about their body budget, a concept I learned from Lisa Feldman Barrett, PhD, one of the most cited researchers in the world. She writes:
“Your brain runs your body using something like a budget. A financial budget tracks money as it’s earned and spent. The budget for your body tracks resources like water, salt and glucose as you gain and lose them. Each action that spends resources, such as standing up, running, and learning, is like a withdrawal from your account. Actions that replenish your resources, such as eating and sleeping, are like deposits.
The scientific name for body budgeting is allostasis.”
Personally, when my body budget’s depleted, I’m more likely to snap at my kids and partner, feel irritable and only have access to either/or thinking. For others, a depleted body budget might look like feeling withdrawn, foggy, low energy and disconnected. What does it feel like when your body budget is low?
When your body budget’s replenished, you’re more likely to stay in what neuroscientist Dan Siegel calls the “window of tolerance.” This is where we do our best thinking and feel a sense of agency and choice. We’re also more likely to have the capacity to feed ourselves in a way that feels good physically and mentally.
What feels like deposits in your body budget? Some ideas to consider:
Eating reliable meals if you have access
Sleep
Staying hydrated
Taking screen-free breaks
Nourishing connection (other people can deposit or withdraw from your body budget! Even friendly interactions with strangers can be a deposit)
Time in nature
Practicing self-compassion
Having fun like a hobby or playful activity
Movement*
*Feldman says movement is a short-term withdrawal and long-term deposit. It uses up glucose and energy (withdrawal) but an attuned relationship with movement can help regulate stress and improve sleep (deposit) and be a net positive. Overexercise paired with undereating and lack of rest = withdrawal, withdrawal.
Also notice if there are things that consistently feel like deposits for you but can sometimes be hard to reach for. For instance, you might feel better getting outside your house and going for a short walk, taking that yoga class, going to bed earlier, or making a date to meet a friend but it feels like too much work. Consider the idea of “short-term withdrawal, long-term deposit”: it takes energy to reach for but the overall experience will be a net positive. If you consistently struggle with reaching for what you know you need, find support through a trusted friend, coach or therapist. We all need both self-care and collective care.
Now what tends to deplete your body budget? Stress and withdrawals from our body budget are an inherent part of life but what’s possible to limit? Notice if you’d like to limit any of these:
Staying up late to doom scroll or be on social media
Going too long without connecting with a friend, near or far
Skipping meals; going too long without eating and getting hangry; getting stuck in the restrict-binge cycle (professional support recommended)
Beating yourself up about what you’ve eaten or being hard on yourself in general
Overscheduling and not having enough white space
Lots of time with certain people
Overworking
Drinking too much alcohol or not enough water
Caregiving without enough time for self
One of the most important things we can offer anyone is our own regulation, our own grounded presence. When I tend to myself and take small and consistent efforts to replenish my body budget, I feel more relaxed, creative and connected. I’m better able to access my full intelligence and show up for my family, friends and clients and hopefully add to their body budgets through my presence. Of course, not all the time, and certainly not perfectly, but more of the time. It’s the best I have to offer. Maybe the best any of us have to offer.
What’s one thing you’d like to do for your body budget this week? Let us know in the comments.
