This post is all about my pregnancy, birth and postpartum recovery. If you have been following me then maybe you saw my last video (almost 2 years ago) where I talked about my fertility journey and shared the exciting news of my pregnancy.
If you haven’t seen that video, click HERE. Since then, many of you have asked about my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience, as these can be especially triggering periods for anyone in recovery from an eating disorder.
Today, I’m sharing my journey with you, including some tips that helped me navigate these life changes without relapsing.
Finding Out I Was Pregnant
After three years of infertility, finding out I was pregnant was both thrilling and surreal. I took multiple pregnancy tests to confirm it because I just couldn’t believe it was happening. During the first few weeks, I had no pregnancy symptoms, but at my six-week appointment, we were able to confirm the pregnancy with a healthy heartbeat. I was so happy and grateful.
My First Trimester: Feeling Nauseous
The first trimester can be challenging, and it was for me as well. Around six weeks, nausea and sickness hit me hard. I want to give a little trigger warning here because I’ll be talking about symptoms that, under normal circumstances, would be concerning, but during pregnancy, are completely normal due to the hormonal changes.
I experienced intense nausea and vomiting, but it didn’t trigger my eating disorder. By that point, I had been fully recovered for many years and had the knowledge and experience to separate these symptoms from any disordered thoughts. I knew it was purely hormonal, unrelated to any past restrictive mindsets.
During the times I felt better, usually in the evening, I made sure to eat enough, and I continued to gain weight as expected during pregnancy. I tried different remedies to ease the nausea—sour candy, chewing gum, small bites of bland food—but none helped much. However, red currant juice (without sugar, because the sweetness was also nauseating) worked wonders for me! If you’re struggling with nausea, I recommend trying something sour—it might help.
Another big challenge during my first trimester was dealing with the hot weather. I was pregnant during the summer, and even though Estonia isn’t known for extreme heat, I couldn’t stand it. I longed for the cool weather of autumn, and by the time it arrived, my nausea had passed as well.
The Second Trimester: Feeling My Best
The second trimester was a breath of fresh air. My energy returned, my nausea disappeared, and I could finally eat normally again. I enjoyed walks, pregnancy swim classes, and did some bike riding. I didn’t experience any major food cravings, though I did eat a lot of fresh fruits, which were in season at the time.
One odd symptom that persisted throughout my pregnancy was a horrible taste in my mouth. It felt like I hadn’t brushed my teeth in days, and nothing relieved it except for chewing gum. I also had to pee frequently, even waking up four to five times a night, but at least my sleep was still good overall.
Another memory from the second trimester was almost fainting twice—once at the dentist and once during a facial. When you lie on your back during pregnancy, it can press on certain blood vessels and make you feel dizzy. Thankfully, I had read about this beforehand, so I knew what was happening and avoided fainting.
During this trimester, I also started to prepare the baby’s room. While I initially thought the baby would sleep in our room, the nesting urge kicked in, and we set up a beautiful space for him. I’m so glad we did because it made things much easier once he arrived.
The Third Trimester: Slowing Down
By the third trimester, things started to get harder. My growing belly made walking more difficult, and I had to slow my pace because my stomach would tighten uncomfortably if I walked too fast. I also felt full quickly after eating, which was frustrating because I couldn’t eat the portions I was used to.
I was more tired and slept more as well. By January, I wrapped up all my coaching work so I could take things slowly before the baby’s arrival in February. Nesting continued, and I focused on buying baby clothes and preparing for postpartum life, which took a lot of pressure off after the baby was born.
We also had a pregnancy photo shoot at home, which was a beautiful experience, even though I wasn’t sure if I had the energy for it at the time. Now, I’m so glad we captured those memories. I also organized a baby shower, which is less common in Estonia, but it was such a special moment with my girlfriends.
The final month of pregnancy was the hardest. My belly felt huge, and I waddled like a penguin. Aches and pains in my pelvis kept me from sleeping well, even with pregnancy pillows. I was also getting up to pee five times a night! In hindsight, I think my body was preparing me for the sleepless nights ahead.
Weight Gain and Body Comments During Pregnancy
For many, weight gain during pregnancy can be a sensitive topic. I had steady weight gain throughout, with no dramatic changes. I mentally prepared myself to gain weight during pregnancy and after birth. I even bought larger clothes to embrace my changing body.
One thing that surprised me was how many people commented on my body during pregnancy. Comments like, “How much weight have you gained?” or “Your belly is so big already!” were common, even though these kinds of remarks aren’t helpful—especially for someone who has gone through an eating disorder. I had to remind myself that people didn’t mean any harm, but it’s important to be mindful of how body comments can affect others.
Despite the comments, I actually felt really good about my body during pregnancy. I felt beautiful and even sexy at times, which was a pleasant surprise!
My Birth Story: Choosing a Home Birth
Initially, I thought I would give birth in a hospital, but after doing more research and talking with my midwife and doula, I decided to have a home birth. My pregnancy was healthy and low-risk, and we felt confident with our decision. We had the perfect team and prepared thoroughly for the experience.
On February 25th, the first signs of labor began, which was interesting because I had dreamt months earlier that I would give birth on February 25th or 26th (I ended up giving birth on February 26th). That morning, I had my “bloody show,” and I called my doula to let her know. Coincidentally, it was also my husband’s birthday, so we spent the day walking in the park and visiting a museum. It was a beautiful winter day, and I felt calm and excited.
Later that evening, the contractions started, though they weren’t too intense at first. By midnight, they became regular, and by 5 PM the next day, the pushing phase began. I was exhausted after hours of pushing, but finally, my son was born, and it was the most beautiful moment of my life. I’ll never forget the overwhelming love I felt when I saw him for the first time!
Postpartum Recovery: Navigating the Challenges
I had a relatively smooth postpartum recovery, with only a first-degree tear, though sitting was painful, and my tailbone hurt for weeks. Breastfeeding went well for me, thanks to the support of my doula, who was also a breastfeeding consultant. However, sleep was a much bigger challenge.
My baby would wake up frequently, and it often took hours to get him to sleep due to colic. I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. When the four-month sleep regression hit, things got even harder, and I often felt like I was in a “coffin” because I couldn’t move or turn during the night while breastfeeding.
We eventually hired a baby sleep coach, which was a game-changer. My husband began taking over some of the night wakings, which helped me get more rest. If you’re struggling with sleep and it’s affecting your mental health, I highly recommend working with a baby sleep coach.
Postpartum Weight and Body Image
As someone who has gone through an eating disorder and fully recovered, I prepared myself mentally for postpartum weight changes. I was ready to gain weight and embrace my larger body. After giving birth, I lost some weight due to the pregnancy, but I knew this wasn’t my new set point. Over time, I’ve gained the weight back, and I’m comfortable with that.
It’s important to be realistic about postpartum weight changes. Your body has gone through a lot, and it’s normal for weight to fluctuate. My advice is to expect and embrace these changes, and focus on the beautiful new life you’ve created.
Postpartum Mental Health and Emotional Changes
Emotionally, the postpartum period has been a rollercoaster. I’ve experienced intense joy and love, but also moments of irritability. I’ve always considered myself a calm person, but the new routines and responsibilities of motherhood can be overwhelming. Rushing to get things done, especially when my baby is upset, has been a major source of stress for me.
I even sought out a psychologist to help me navigate these feelings of irritation, and I’ve learned that it’s normal to feel this way. It’s okay to have ups and downs—just do your best and take care of yourself.
Postpartum Exercise
I decided early on not to rush back into exercise, and I encourage others to take their time as well. I waited six months before starting any formal exercise and focused on light walking and caring for my baby, which was plenty of activity.
When I did return to exercise, I worked with a personal trainer who specialized in postpartum recovery. This was crucial because carrying my baby constantly put a lot of strain on my back and arms. Having professional guidance ensured that I exercised safely and avoided injury.
For me, exercise is something I want to enjoy and fit into my life naturally—I don’t want to structure my life around it. That mindset has helped me find balance in my postpartum journey.
Final Thoughts
This has been my journey through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum recovery. I hope sharing my experience has been helpful or inspiring for you. If you have any questions or want to share your own experiences, I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re looking for more guidance on eating disorder recovery, I’ve created a free guide that you can download HERE. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram, where I’ll be posting more regularly. Thank you so much for being here, and I look forward to connecting with you again soon!
