First, try not to categorize food as “good” or “bad.” Dr. Davis says it’s important to “recognize that we need to eat a balanced diet and variety of foods to be healthy.” So, yes, donuts and ice cream can be part of a balanced, healthy diet.
The second way to change your thought process is to stop focusing on your appearance. Dr. Davis calls this “fat talk” and it can be very destructive to your self-esteem and take the focus away from your health, which is most important.
The third major step is to stop associating being thin with being happy. Dr. Davis says: “Challenge the idea that losing weight or being thin will lead to happiness or fulfillment.” Dr. Sanders also advises people with eating disorders to “try to separate thoughts about food and exercise from other emotional struggles.”
Here are examples of thoughts you may be having, and how you can reframe them:
Unhealthy: “Do I look fat in this?”
Healthy: “Do I feel comfortable in this?”
Unhealthy: “I can’t eat this cookie because it will make me fat.”
Healthy: “I’ve been eating nutritious foods all day, so I’m going to eat this cookie and enjoy it.”
Unhealthy: “I bet he would go out with me if I wasn’t fat.”
Healthy: “I’m beautiful the way I am and if he doesn’t like me then it’s his loss.”
Unhealthy: “I hate myself for eating so much junk food today.”
Healthy: “I enjoyed treating myself today, and tomorrow I’ll try to eat more nutritious foods to balance it out.”
Unhealthy: “I’m too fat to join the soccer team.”
Healthy: “I know I can make the soccer team if I really put my mind to it. I’m great at playing at home.”
Unhealthy: “I wish I could be as thin as her.”
Healthy: “She’s pretty the way she is and I know I’m just as pretty the way I am.”
Unhealthy: “I should stop eating so much because prom is coming up.”
Healthy: “I need to fuel my body to be productive every day and being thinner won’t make me have more fun at prom.”
Unhealthy: “I’m so sad and stressed out. I need to eat to feel happy.”
Healthy: “I’m so sad and stressed out. I should talk to a friend to vent and feel better.”
Unhealthy: “I hate my fat thighs.”
Healthy: “My legs are so strong. I love them.”
Unhealthy: “I’d be happier if I could lose 10 pounds.”
Healthy: “I can be happy at any size because my appearance doesn’t change who I am on the inside and my success in life.”
If you aren’t personally struggling with an eating disorder, but know someone who is or who you suspect is, it’s important to find a way to help them because it can result in permanent medical issues and even death. “If you are concerned about someone, try to speak to them without being confrontational – express your concern,” Dr. Sanders advises. “Don’t hesitate to involve an adult. You may feel like you are betraying a friend, but an eating disorder takes a team of professionals to manage. So, as a friend, you can be supportive — but you can’t take on the responsibility to help your friend.”
