We know that when family caregivers of those with eating disorders have support and tools, they’re better equipped to effectively provide a more conducive recovery environment. Sadly, we have broken health care systems in every country and especially in the USA that don’t allow for this support to be provided regularly and effectively. Don’t get me started…
One of the most helpful tools that allows parents to respond vs react is learning to listen with validation and acknowledgement. This takes a LOT of training and practice. More on that later, but if you’re like me and want to JUMP TO LEARNING NOW you can check out the HUG Kit topic of “Validate, Listen & Acknowledge” here.
Bonnie Brennan, MA, LPC, CEDS
I had the great honor and pleasure of assisting Bonnie Brennan, MA, LPC, CEDS in her training on Emotion Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) in 2021. What a great distraction from the realities of the world that was! Intentionality helped a great deal in that year of the pandemic.
What if we’re INTENTIONAL about our focus each week? What might be different?
Many of our limbic systems have been on fire since the pandemic began – add in a loved one with an eating disorder and it’s a recipe for emotional dysregulation indeed. Bonnie shared in the EFFT training that Emotion Coaching helps put out the fire in our limbic system and regulates it so we can listen. We need to do a whole lot of listening if we’re going to help our loved ones and ourselves. When we validate another’s feelings, our mirror neurons fire and we can put ourselves in their shoes.
When I first heard Dr. Adele LaFrance speak about her EFFT model, I had tears streaming down my face. Why? Because I have seen the ENORMOUS and EGREGIOUS GAP in actual support for the family caregivers of those with eating disorders for over 20 years.
Adele researched and created this model specifically for family caregivers of those with eating disorders to fill this gap! I could see immediately how this tool can give these caregivers the practical communication skills to actually be able to listen to their loved one with an eating disorder in a way that reduces; conflict, anger, shutting down and increases emotional support.
Ever since learning about EFFT I’ve wanted to be officially trained in it and am thrilled to have gotten this training from Bonnie. Along with DBT, I wish this was being taught in our school systems…the world would be a much kinder place if everyone had these skills. 🙂 EFFT teaches us to be intentional in our listening and speaking. It’s not easy and take a lot of practice. We can work toward one degree of change and in the long run, that will make a big degree of difference. 🙂
Not everyone is able to take this training and/or coach with me 1:1, so we created the HUG Kits with a topic specifically devoted to learning to; VALIDATE, LISTEN and ACKNOWLEDGE so families can learn how to provide healthy love and support to strengthen the relationship without agreeing or approving of eating disorder supporting choices. You’ll learn what validation is and is not and how to create an action plan to incorporate these valuable tools into your caregiving plan.
You can learn more about EFFT on Dr. LaFrance’s website, she generously has free videos there for practicing this model.
Being trained in Dr. Adele LaFrance’s Emotion Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) 
model has been such a gift as I’ve been able to help family caregivers to learn to use this validation tool so that their loved ones feel; seen, heard, trust, empowered, cared for and inspired to recover. It’s great to see this research showing up in “The Journal of Eating Disorders” as a research article, “The power of feeling seen: perspectives of individuals with eating disorders on receiving validation” authored by; Josie Geller1,2* , A. Fernandes1 , S. Srikameswaran1,2, R. Pullmer1 and S. Marshall3 You can read this open access article here: file:///Users/administrator/Downloads/s40337-021-00500-x.pdf
We are finally giving family caregivers the tools that they need to help support loved ones in recovery during the times of day that they’re not in treatment.
You can learn more on my website page about the HUG Kits here. We have affiliate options for treatment providers, just contact me.
