Editor’s Note: This article contains mentions of eating disorders and disordered eating. Please take care while reading, and note the helpful resources at the end of this story.
Influencer, model and TikToker Remi Bader recently shared a video detailing how a trip to Montauk “opened her eyes” to some personal health challenges.
Bader explained in the video that she had attended a brand trip with some other influencers when she became aware of how her body was affecting her health. For instance, she shared how she was “out of breath” when trying to climb stairs. She also said she experienced physical pain and discomfort in several circumstances and noticed that she was having some painful stomach issues.
In the video, Bader brought up the dichotomy of being a plus-size content creator in treatment for an eating disorder and how she felt conflicted about her desire to feel better physically. She prefaced her video by saying she knew her honesty might “p*** some people off” but added that she wanted to be truthful about her experiences as well.
“This isn’t about weight,” she said. “For me, it’s about feeling good and feeling strong.”
Bader has been open about her ongoing journey with her health, including how she tried the weight loss injectable medication Ozempic at the suggestion of a doctor in 2020 — only to gain back double the weight she lost when she went off of it.
The influencer explained in a podcast that she had tried the medication as a way to help with her binge-eating disorder, as well as for a pre-diabetes and insulin-resistant diagnosis. However, she found that for her personally, while the medication had worked at first, going off of it seemed to make her binge eating worse.
“I didn’t want to be obsessed with being on [Ozempic] long-term,” Bader had explained at the time. “I was like, I bet the second I got off I’m gonna get starving again. I did, and my binging got so much worse. So then I kind of blamed Ozempic.”
Since then, Bader explained in her recent TikTok, she has been in treatment for a bing-eating eating disorder. She added that she’s in the second summer in a row for treatment and has gained weight as a result because treatment involves “trying to be free with your food.”
‘I’m gaining weight by doing something good for myself’
The problem Bader is now facing, she added, is that while the “#1 thing” in her eating disorder treatment is that losing weight “can’t be a part of your mindset,” she is also realizing that she doesn’t want to continue to gain weight because she doesn’t “feel good.”
For instance, she noted that on the trip her knees were hurting, and she was in “a lot” of pain.
She also added that she wasn’t comfortable with some of the physical accommodations she needed on her brand trip, including having to leave a fitness class and needing a bed for her massage because she could not physically fit in the chair.
With the physical challenges she is experiencing, Bader now feels stuck between the food freedom she wants to achieve with her eating disorder recovery and avoiding future weight gain that may exacerbate her physical discomfort.
“My issue with that is that I’m gaining weight by doing something good for myself to overcome binge eating,” she explained. “And that’s where I’m like a little frustrated, where I just like don’t know what direction to turn in.”
Bader also expressed that she felt conflicted because she doesn’t want to alter herself or her identity as a plus-sized content creator — she just wants to feel better physically.
“My point here is that I don’t want to change being a plus-size girl,” she explained. “I want the industry to be more inclusive, I want to keep doing what I’m doing, and I want to keep being me. I just want to feel better. I just want to find ways that I can feel better and feel strong.”
Fans and followers of Bader were extremely supportive of the influencer finding ways to support her health and feel physically more comfortable in her body, and many expressed similar challenges.
For instance, Carla Kiley, a content creator who shares plus-size fashion, explained that she has been focused on feeling better physically as well.
“I felt the same way!!! After dealing with my eating issues with intuitive eating, I started doing a workout I like and over a year later I actually see the results you are talking about – feet hurt less, not winded, can keep up with people easier. My body size is the same or bigger (preggo) but I’m SO much stronger and can live so much easier!! It doesn’t happen quickly but is so possible!!!,” Kiley wrote.
Some commenters also noted that they understand the struggles of feeling better physically while also battling an eating disorder.
“This is something that was/is my BIGGEST struggle as a plus size girl with an ED. The desire to be strong and feel good without focusing on weight,” said @allison.hanson888.
“Thank you for talking about this. I’m in the exact same space with my binge eating and the weight I’ve gained, we got this. This is the path to health,” wrote @vibinwithabg.
Other commenters cheered Bader on to find a way to improve her health, no matter what changes that might mean to her body size.
“Sending you love Rem 🤍 you’re such a strong woman in so many ways! Regardless of weight feeling good and healthy is important!” added @superashley127.
“Your brand is not your size. Your brand is you Remi! We love you! We support you! Health is true wealth babe,” wrote @di4art.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating habits, contact the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) at 1-800-931-2237. You can also connect with a Crisis Text Line counselor at no charge by texting the word “HOME” to 741741. Visit the NEDA website to learn more about the possible warning signs of eating disorders and disordered eating.
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