Sean: It’s as though we’re hardwired against having those kinds of conversations from a very young age. As men, it’s not acceptable for us to break down and fall apart. It’s a sign of weakness in our society to show any kind of softness, sensitivity, and vulnerability as men. In my case, opening up so publicly, I was surprised to find that many of my male friends had also been harbouring secrets of their own battles with mental illness. The stigma around talking about what they were going through had stopped them from opening up and many of them felt the same shame I did. Once I shared, there was this ripple effect, and others shared with me.
I think every conversation about mental health can be challenging, especially if it’s your first time reaching out. What I’ve found helpful is online support networks and texting groups. Face-to-face is hard for me, and texting with peers or online support lowers the distress and helps me find the language for what I want to say. Journaling helps me to gather my thoughts before most conversations and also helps with grounding. I also journal after as a way to reflect.
Sterling: Having the conversation is a really important start, and including men in that conversation. It kind of starts with the basics. When I took psychology courses in first or second year, you look at the textbook on the section on eating disorders, and it’s all thin white women. What about men? What people who are transgender? The most important thing is we affirm that everyone’s experience with an eating disorder is valid. It doesn’t have to look a particular way. Not only about the representation of having the illness, but also about getting better from it. I wanted to make sure that people knew men can recover from eating disorders, too.
