Perfectionism and anxiety go hand-in-hand. Pobody’s nerfect. No, I’m not having a stroke. If you haven’t heard that saying before, it means nobody’s perfect, said imperfectly. I don’t care who you are, you’re not perfect and you never will be.
Stick with me here, I’m not trying to be a jerk!
The problem with perfectionism
Is there a problem with wanting to be perfect and striving for perfectionism? I think that’s up to you to decide. My opinion and experience have shown me that nothing good can come from it.
Perfectionism can be a good or a bad thing. I know for a fact that I cannot and will not ever be perfect. I can try, but I’m setting myself up for failure.
Think about how much time you spend trying to accomplish certain things in life. How often have you failed? How often have you succeeded? Did you succeed perfectly? If you succeeded perfectly, does that make your next task or goal seem harder to attain? Does it seem like if you don’t conquer the next goal in life perfectly, it’ll be a huge letdown and you will probably beat yourself up about it, ruminating about what you did wrong and what you should have said or done differently?
How do we overcome perfectionism?
So, how do we overcome perfectionism? I’m glad you asked.
Think about what it would feel like to know that it’s absolutely fine (and normal) not to do things perfectly. What a relief! How much time do you spend worrying about the different aspects of your life?
Do you realize that worry is nonexistent when you live in the present? Think about it. Everything you can think of is either in the past or in the future. That last sentence is in the past already!
Meditation
Meditation is the art of living in the present. Just be with yourself and don’t think about what has happened in the past or what could happen in the future. No worries, no anxiety, no perfectionism. Just be.
Meditation can be a wonderful coping mechanism for anxiety. For beginners, you should use a guided meditation. This is where someone guides you through a session, helping you to focus on relaxing your mind and body. It helps you live in the moment. Usually, for beginners, you start out slow, about 5 minutes or less.
How do perfectionism and anxiety relate?
Anxiety is related to the unknown, uncertainty, the past, and/or the future. There are other things that cause anxiety, but for this discussion, I’m keeping it basic.
There are many different types of anxiety, some of which include generalized anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety, and panic disorder.
Perfectionism and anxiety tend to go hand-in-hand. Think about that for a minute. Anxiety is often brought on when you don’t feel in control.
You’re living in the PAST, man!
If you’re constantly thinking about the past, such as what you could have done or said differently if a certain event did or didn’t go the way you wanted it to, you’re only hurting yourself.
Thinking about and wishing things had happened differently can also cause undue anxiety and stress. Why do that to yourself?
Living for the FUTURE
Much like living in the past, living for the future is also a stressor. Constantly looking ahead to what might happen (and let’s be honest, when do things actually happen the way we want them to?), can also cause a lot of anxiety.
The unknown is a scary thing! It can also be exciting, don’t get me wrong. There are perpetual optimists who always think that only good things are coming their way. Nothing wrong with that!
Wouldn’t it be great to always think about the bright side of life? Although, It might be kind of hard when things don’t turn out the way you want them to. I think it would be difficult to keep up the optimism when a lot of things are going wrong in your life. Some people are eternal optimists and make their life worth living, even during unpleasant times.
Living for the PRESENT
When you live for the present, you live without any expectations about what the future should be, and on the flip side, you don’t regret the past and you accept the fact that there is nothing you can do to change it.
If you live each day without regret about the past or expectations about the future, you’ll start to notice a positive change in yourself. We don’t know what the future holds, so live and love with your whole heart now, because right now is all that matters.
Final thoughts on perfectionism and anxiety
Perfectionism is a common trait. We want to be the best at everything and never make any mistakes. We don’t want to look like a fool or let anyone down, most of all ourselves. These situations tend to cause at least a little anxiety in some and in others, it can be enough to cause major bouts of fear and anxiety.
Try to understand that you can’t be expected to be perfect. Go easy on yourself. It’s such a relief to think that way and actually believe it.
Give yourself that gift.
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